Posted on January 6, 2026

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Deciding to start therapy is a significant step, and it's completely normal to feel nervous about your first session. You might be wondering what you're supposed to say, whether you'll be judged, or if you'll even know how to begin explaining what's been going on. Maybe you're worried about crying in front of a stranger, or concerned that your problems aren't "serious enough" to warrant therapy. These feelings are incredibly common, and I want you to know that your first session is designed to be as comfortable and low-pressure as possible. My goal isn't to fix everything in one hour or to put you on the spot—it's simply to get to know you, understand what's bringing you to therapy, and help you feel safe enough to begin this process.

If you've never been to therapy before, or if it's been a while since your last experience, walking into that first appointment can feel intimidating. You're about to share personal thoughts and feelings with someone you've never met, and that takes courage. But here's what I want you to remember: that first session is as much for you to get to know me as it is for me to get to know you. You're not just a client walking into my office—you're a person looking for support, and it's important that you feel comfortable with the therapist you choose to work with. Think of the first session as a consultation where we both get to decide if we're a good fit for each other.

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Before You Arrive

The process actually begins before you even walk through the door or log into a telehealth session. When you first reach out to schedule your appointment, we'll have a brief conversation about what you're looking for and confirm the date and time that works best for you. If you're coming to my Upland office for an in-person session, I'll give you the address and let you know about parking. If we're meeting via telehealth, I'll send you the secure video link and instructions for how to connect.

You don't need to prepare anything elaborate for your first session, but it can be helpful to spend a few minutes thinking about what's been troubling you lately. What made you decide to seek therapy now? Are there specific issues you want to address, or do you just feel like something needs to change? Maybe you're dealing with anxiety that's become unmanageable, relationship problems that feel stuck, or you're going through a difficult transition and need support. Whatever it is, there's no right or wrong answer. Some people come in with a clear list of concerns, while others just know they need help but aren't quite sure where to start. Both approaches are perfectly fine.

It's also worth thinking about any questions you have for me. You might want to know about my experience with certain issues, how I typically work with clients, or what my approach to therapy looks like. These are all fair questions, and I encourage you to ask them. Finding a therapist who feels like the right match is important, and I'd much rather you ask questions upfront than spend weeks working with someone who doesn't feel like a good fit.

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Wha‎t Happens During the Session

When we begin your first session, I'll start by explaining how therapy works, including confidentiality and what that means. Confidentiality is crucial in therapy—what you share with me stays between us, with very few exceptions required by law, such as if there's a risk of harm to yourself or others. I want you to feel safe being open and honest, so understanding these boundaries from the beginning helps build that trust.

From there, I'll ask you to share what's been going on and what brought you to therapy. This is your time to talk, and I'm here to listen. You don't need to have a polished explanation or tell your entire life story in chronological order. Just start wherever feels natural. Some people dive right into their current struggles, while others need to provide some background context first. There's no rush, and I won't be looking at the clock waiting for you to get to the point. This is about understanding you and what you're experiencing.

I'll ask questions along the way to help me understand your situation more fully. I might ask about your relationships, your work or school life, your family background, and any previous experiences with therapy or mental health treatment. I'll want to know about your strengths and what's worked for you in the past, not just what's been difficult. I'll also ask about any symptoms you've been experiencing—trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, feelings of sadness or anxiety, difficulty concentrating, or anything else that's been affecting your daily life. These questions aren't about judging you or putting you in a box; they're about getting a complete picture so I can understand how to best support you.

One thing that surprises some people is that the first session isn't just me asking questions and taking notes. It's a conversation. I'll share my observations, offer some initial thoughts about what you're experiencing, and begin to explain how therapy might help. If certain therapeutic approaches seem particularly relevant to your situation—whether that's CBT for anxiety, EMDR for trauma, or family therapy techniques—I'll explain what those involve and why I think they might be beneficial. You'll also have plenty of opportunities to ask your own questions, express concerns, or clarify anything that doesn't make sense.

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Building the Foundation Together

Toward the end of your first session, we'll start talking about what comes next. I'll share my initial impressions and recommendations for treatment. This might include how often I think we should meet, what areas we might focus on first, and what approaches or techniques could be helpful. But this isn't a one-sided prescription—I want to hear your thoughts too. Does meeting weekly feel manageable, or would every other week work better with your schedule? Are there specific goals you want to prioritize, or areas you'd like to address first? Therapy works best when it's truly collaborative, so your input matters from the very beginning.

We'll also discuss practical matters like scheduling, fees, and payment options. I accept debit cards, credit cards, and CashApp, and I want you to have a clear understanding of the financial aspect before we move forward. If you have questions about insurance, sliding scale options, or anything related to cost, this is the time to bring them up. I know talking about money can feel awkward, but being transparent about these details helps prevent stress or confusion down the road.

Some people leave their first session feeling relieved—like they've finally taken a step they've been putting off, or like someone finally understands what they've been going through. Others leave feeling a bit raw or vulnerable, especially if they shared difficult experiences or emotions. Both reactions are completely normal. Opening up to someone new can be emotionally draining, even when it feels good to finally talk about what's been weighing on you. Give yourself some grace after that first appointment. You've just done something brave, and it's okay if you need some time to process the experience.

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Moving Forward

If after the first session you feel like we're a good fit, we'll schedule your next appointment and begin the real work of therapy. If something doesn't feel quite right—maybe our personalities don't click, or you're not sure about my approach—that's okay too. I won't be offended if you decide to look for a different therapist. What matters most is that you find someone you feel comfortable with, someone you trust to support you through this process. Sometimes that happens immediately in the first session, and sometimes it takes meeting with a few different therapists before you find the right match.

For most people, therapy becomes easier after that initial appointment. The hardest part is often just getting yourself to show up that first time. Once you've broken through that barrier and realized that therapy isn't as scary or intimidating as you imagined, the following sessions tend to flow more naturally. You'll become more comfortable sharing, I'll develop a deeper understanding of who you are and what you need, and together we'll build the therapeutic relationship that becomes the foundation for meaningful change.

Starting therapy takes courage, but you don't have to keep carrying your struggles alone. If you're ready to take that first step or if you have questions about what therapy might look like for you, I'm here to help. You can reach me at (909) 285-2525 or via email to sched ule your free consultation. That initial conversation is pressure-free and gives us both a chance to see if working together feels right. I look forward to hearing from you.